Resident from June 2006 to May 2007, just took 11 year tokens and cakes.I was born in Idaho in 1961, I'm the eldest of three children, raised in a family filled with love.My first real drink (approximately age 10) was an orange juice glass (about 4 oz.) I was having a beer with my dad! My mom was furious, she drinks about a bottle of wine per year. I had many drunken episodes in my teen years.My first DUI came at the age of 21, very shortly after my first divorce. The DUI class instructors suggested we "look at our relationship with alcohol". 24 years later, I would actually do that.Between ages of 21 and 45, came two more marriages, the birth of two sons, periods of sobriety, many blackouts, horrible behavior, another DUI, and one more divorce.At the age of 38 I married my 3rd wife, I was sober when we started dating....later I "drank like a gentleman" for about 3 years, then my drinking slowly escalated.In March, 2006, I lost an excellent high paying job I had enjoyed for almost 16 years. I was pulled out of a Kaiser Outpatient group on one occasion, accused of drinking. I lied and said I hadn't, but somehow managed to blow a .23 into the breathalyzer. Two 10 day in patient programs follow, I returned to drinking after both of them. I had come home drunk virtually every day for over 2 1/2 years yet, I could not understand why my wife left our home to live with her mom.Following my 8th and 9th seizures, I was taken by ambulance to Palomar where I woke up on life support. To the best of my recollection, my sponsor, his girlfriend, my mom, my wife and a nurse or doctor, observed me in the hospital with a look on their faces that said "are you going to die or what?"I was scheduled (for the second time) to go into TFC upon leaving the hospital. At the age of 45, my wife had left me, my job and career were gone, and most of my family would not talk to me and my sons wanted nothing to do with me. I stayed at my mom's after the hospital waiting to get into TFC.I ate well, slept fitfully, took medications exactly on time and learned my wife had filed for divorce. That hurt! Almost every day the phone rang and Carlos told my mom there was not an available bed for me yet. Every day I was relieved. I did not want to go to yet another recovery facility....."They" hadn't worked in the past, I was focused on fixing my marriage and getting a job, issues I could not possibly address in my current condition.June 26th 2006, I entered TFC reluctantly. I did not want to go there, but had been told about 100 times, I would die if I drank again. I was shown my room, my bunk, and where to put my gear.....and given about 1/2 hour to "unwind" before the next scheduled group. This, for me was a moment of clarity or a spiritual experience, I'm not sure which but I've been taught it really doesn't matter.I'm in a recovery home, my life is in a shambles, and I'm sharing a room with 5 other men and sleeping on a bunk bed. This was NEVER my goal. For the first time in my life, I took step 1 honestly and completely.While a resident at TFC, I went to the groups, ate in the dining hall, listened to others and followed direction. I took several council positions, went to outside meetings, participated as a volunteer supporting civic events, I read the big book and the 12 and 12, got a new sponsor and went through all 12 steps.In December of 2006 while a resident, my third divorce was final. This really hurt because life is supposed to get "all better" when we get sober right? My new specialist Phil explained it to me with two words, "not necessarily."I did what I was taught, I went to over 20 meetings that week. As low as I felt, as much as I hurt, I listened to people share much worse things than I was going through. In January of 2007 (while still a TFC resident) I lost my first friend in recovery. Alex decided to try heroin "one more time" and died of an overdose. I've lost many friends since.With 15 months of recovery, I moved in with a wonderful woman, I had a car repossessed, I started my first job as a sober man, and my older son suffered a catastrophic brain injury in a High School football game and almost died. I took all this to my sponsor with the obvious question, "What do you call all this?" He replied, "Brian, in recovery, we call it September."Since then, much has happened; good and bad....I don't handle every situation perfectly....I don't walk through every issue with grace...What changed? My willingness. I was broken and done! I was taught that we "hit our bottom" when we learn to stop digging. I did not want to live as I had previously, and learned that I did not have to. No matter what bad happens today, it's always better than it used to be.My life has improved dramatically and I know the credit for this goes to God, to AA, and to The Fellowship Center, a place I never wanted to go.